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Your insecurities are going to cause trouble in your marriage until you can heal them. Even if your marriage is over, they'll cause trouble in the next relationship. IMO you haven't crossed any uncrossable lines: no cheating, no physical violence. Of course that decision is up to your wife, but words can often be healed by later words that show a profound understanding of the problem and its impact. Anger management might help; but it sounds like you manage it enough not to get physical and like the root cause of the anger is the insecurity. DONT HAVE A CARE IN THE WORLD. So I'd get into counseling and aim straight for the insecurity before worrying about one of its symptoms. Please understand that counseling is hard work on your part. It means looking at things you don't want to look at, understanding hurts you aren't now even aware that you caused. But it also involves finding forgiveness for yourself and by extension to other people that comes later in the process but it be a huge weight off of you and you won't get so angry at people when you accept yourself and others for what they are. Go to a couple of sessions and then let your wife know you are doing this, that you want to work it out if she is willing. Ask if she come to some couples counseling sessions (later when you have worked through some of your own issues). She is at least part of the problem for accepting your verbal for however before kicking you out. A good counselor can help you two communicate more and learn not reinforce Interracial dating the old patterns. The profound understanding I refer to, the apologies that mean something: you can't make them until you understand the root of what you said and why you said it. It isn't "I don't know why" or "You disrespected me" (even if she did.) Anger comes from fear. When you find yourself saying things more like "I was afraid if you spent more time with your friends you'd realize how boring I was and I'd lose your -", whatever your particular deal is, then you'll be on the right track.